My first reaction to the news was, oh ok no big deal. She's old enough now that it won't be a big deal. I had just taken Laney in October for 4 shots and yeah it's no fun, but she was pretty cool with it. A few tears, then stickers and hugs saved the day, and she forgot all about it. And she's only 5 so Mykaya should be just fine with it right?
Then I remembered that we went to the hospital in November with Mykaya to get an MRI of her brain. There had been some pre-seizure activity on a sleep-deprived EEG so we wanted to rule out anything tumorish in there. That day was the single worst day of our lives. We got good news, but getting there was absolute HELL. For all parties involved. Well, except Laney, she just drove a little car around the waiting room for hours with my mom and sister. :)
The hospital itself was scary.
Getting weighed and vitals taken was scary.
The room was scary.
The anticipation of what are they gonna do was scary.
For Mykaya, that is.
And when things are scary for her, she doesn't respond like a typical child. She cries and she shakes and she rocks back and forth in the chair and she shuts down COMPLETELY. Hugs don't work, candy and stickers don't work. The promise of ice cream doesn't even work. Nothing works. You are stuck in this awful horrible nightmare with your child and you can't help her.
The nurse brought in a child life specialist who gave her some clay and after a few minutes she started to play with the clay, and then she started to tell the lady why she was scared. So the gal showed her what the IV would look like (minus the needle) and let her play with it and all that. She was better, but still very very scared. Then they put some cream on her arms to numb them for the poke and gave her some "happy juice" to drink (I think it was Versed). Once that stuff kicked in, a completely new kid emerged. It was like her bonds were broken and she was totally free. She laughed and played and sang and smiled and LIVED without worry. She got to live in a typical child's world for a few hours. It was at that point that I started to think about daily medication for her, but that's a topic for another day.
That memory came flooding back to me and I thought oh great. How am I gonna get her through this again? I know that she responds much better with TONS of preparation. If preparation is what she needs, that's what we'll do. So I took her to the lab with me when I needed some blood drawn. I took her into the room and let her watch everything. I told her she didn't have to look when they poked me, but she wanted to and she was fascinated. She couldn't believe that I didn't freak out. We talked about it for a long time and she kept saying "if I don't move, it won't hurt. Mom didn't move and it didn't hurt". I had to tell her it still be like a beesting but that would be it. I got her to the point after many many many discussions where she was actually excited to get her shot. Up until we got into the room yesterday.
Then she went all sorts of ballistic. She curled up in a ball and tried to hide in the corner. I had told the nurse she has Aspergers right away and she nodded and goes "ok thanks alot for telling me". I couldn't get her out of the corner, but I finally got her coat off. I had told her she could pick which arm to get the shot in, but when it came down to it, I told the lady just get it where you can. So she cleaned it off and Mykaya was still fighting and screaming and crying, while at the same time saying "I'm sorry I'm so sorry Mom". At one point I looked at the nurse and said I don't think I'm strong enough to hold her down (she weighs 72 lbs and I weigh 130). As soon as the nurse said she would have to bring somebody in to help, Mykaya goes ok just do it (still struggling, crying and screaming). So we did it. She held still for the poke but kept screaming. After it was all done, I cradled her like a baby for a long time and just let her cry. I told her she was very brave and she kept saying I know but I cried. I told her it was ok to cry. So she did.
Then we went to pick Laney up from the Y and met dad for ice cream at Cold Stone! This time, ice cream did make it all better :)
With love,
The Schulz's
No comments:
Post a Comment